While we all wait for the pandemic to officially end (will it though?), most of us have already returned to our workplaces. Those select few work-from-home parents with scratchy Wi-Fi and cluttered desks will surely attest to the fact that their long work hours are filled with so many kid invasions.
We have already seen plenty of evidence that our kids have exquisite superpowers. No, these are not commonplace by any stretch of imagination. Their moves are crafted with such precision and guile that you wonder if you should enroll them in an advanced chess class.
Okay, now that we have established the premise, let us try to recall the most important parts of our work day. First, there is the morning “I am here too” meeting, maybe a client meeting or two thrown in at the last moment, and a tell-all meeting with the boss. These are the events that are relevant to our narrative.
As professionals, we know that meetings can do downhill pretty quickly in at least 37 different ways, but can you guess what the kids can do to garnish them with a little more spice?
Farm animals in your workspace
Toy makers always attempt to build authentic experiences with their range of products. This authenticity, however can turn hilariously disadvantageous when your boss hears the hearty moo of a cow, and the crowing of a jolly rooster.
Instead of your concluding summary, your boss walks away with the impression that you are, in fact a veritable Old McDonald with a prosperous farm to supplement your income, and decides you don’t need a raise after all!
Ours is a musical world. Especially when it is your turn to speak in a meeting. The stage is set. The show has begun. Your kid starts to belt out popular rhymes in adorable, yet off-key tunes. If you have more than 1 kid, they magically drop their bickering and form an orchestra of sorts. One croons the background tune and the other performs a really loud chorus of “Baby Shark”. It is symphony in action, an overwhelming opera. Sometimes, they even pause to see if there is any applause from the attendees in your meeting.
Screen Sharing Saga
Some of the most entertaining incidents happen when you are presenting your screen. Your colleague is counting on you to follow his cue and move ahead in the presentation, but your kid is literally pulling you back. Their eyes open wide with their legs spread in a particular stance. You know what’s about to happen. You take them to the restroom, desperately wishing that the speaker would freeze till you return.
But your kids have just started their thing and you now are actually in no-man’s land. For the next ten minutes, it is a frenetic dash between the laptop and the restroom, until one of them stops making a sound.
Masters of the “Mute” Moment
I can keep writing till I am a 117 year old grumpy old man even if the only topic I write about is about a Kid SuperpowerTM. Their ability to sense your unmuted moments surpasses even a ravenous eagle’s famed ability to hone in on its unsuspecting prey.
Before you can even blink, you hear sinister laughs akin to The Joker’s, innocent coughs and loud questions about the virus and comments on the display pictures of the participants in the meeting.
To top it all off, they turn into mimics and expertly impersonate your boss’s voice for the whole world to hear. You give up, throw caution to the wind and start laughing upon seeing the funny faces they make.
It’s a wonderful life.
How many of these have you been through in your work-from-home experience? Do let me know in the comments.
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